Monday, December 3, 2012

Season's Greetings!

I hope this post finds everyone doing well and continuing to persevere through their own fight with autoimmune disease. Stay strong and keep your faith.
Disease! The sound of that word sickens me of late. Disease, to me, brings thoughts of hopelessness, and negativity, and I prefer to erase them from my thoughts, as well as, my vocabulary. I personally prefer to use the word, disorder. Not so foreboding.
I am reminded of this as I reflect on my most recent RA flare. Two months ago, I became sidelined with a staph infection which I received (as stated by my family physician), by simply walking into a hospital to visit my father whom had had a heart attack. Yes, I said, by doing no more than stepping foot in a hospital. Wow! Amazing, huh? My thought exactly...
So, this, in turn, delayed my remicade infusion by another two weeks because of being placed on antibiotics. Well, I get my infusion, and lo and behold, the dosage fails. Due to my insurance plan, I have to wait another four weeks (no less than) before I can receive my next infusion with a higher dosage ( which I had visited rheumy during this struggle).
By the time I had my appointment with my rheumy, I could barely walk, I had pain extending my arms to reach, my hands were drawn, and my shoulders, as well as, my elbows were tight and stiff, I had very dismal range of motion. I felt like my body was going to explode. But, I did not give in when I so desperately wanted to. That is not me. I'm a fighter...and I will fight for control of my RA.
I am thankful for my wonderful family and friends whom have all been supportive. They were my strength and inspiration and continue to be.
Now, I return this week into the dojo with my martial arts family. All of them, from my instructors to my sparring partners, have been encouraging and inspiring. Pushing me mentally and spiritually, while I struggled physically. And, when I couldn't make it to the dojo, their correspondences uplifted my soul. Thank you, thank you, and thank you...


Friday, March 2, 2012

Peace and Love to Everyone!

Greetings! I just wanted to send out some peace and love to you all. This week I have been battling the flu
of all things. I'm starting to come around now. I will be posting more very soon. Take care.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Living, Loving, and Scared as Hell...

Ok, fellow bloggers, I admit, I haven't posted in a long time. I have no excuses. So much has changed in my life since I first began this blog. I simply crawled deep within a cave and took up residence. For starters, I have been seperated for 3 months and I am learning to adjust to this new life. Thankfully, I have been surrounded by family and my closest friends. My children give me strength each day.
     What has been on my mind most lately, is the thought of having this blasted RA and, potentially, " being back on the market ." Is anyone out there going through this right now? I'm all ears right now and am ready to listen. Since my diagnosis, August, 2010, I have lived by this mantra; ' RA is what I have, not who I am." Lately, however, I have thought this to be utter BS! Maybe this has been my monster trying to take control.
Physically, I do not appear to have anything wrong. I am young (well, young-looking for my age), 41, active, I exercise regularly (when I feel up to the challenge), my kids keep me busy, as well as, being a working, traveling musician. I am a good-looking guy, and, although, I'm not looking right now, I get scared thinking one day soon I may actually be there. The thought of sharing my inner pain with someone else terrifies me. Not to mention the fact it has been years since I've been on the dating circuit., But, to have this chronic illness and be dating; geez. 
     Maybe I am freaking out too much too soon right now. Perhaps, I just need to relax and focus on me and making me better and stronger and enjoying the good things in my life. (It does still scare me)! I welcome any and all responses! Happy New Year to ALL of you! Namaste