Monday, December 3, 2012

Season's Greetings!

I hope this post finds everyone doing well and continuing to persevere through their own fight with autoimmune disease. Stay strong and keep your faith.
Disease! The sound of that word sickens me of late. Disease, to me, brings thoughts of hopelessness, and negativity, and I prefer to erase them from my thoughts, as well as, my vocabulary. I personally prefer to use the word, disorder. Not so foreboding.
I am reminded of this as I reflect on my most recent RA flare. Two months ago, I became sidelined with a staph infection which I received (as stated by my family physician), by simply walking into a hospital to visit my father whom had had a heart attack. Yes, I said, by doing no more than stepping foot in a hospital. Wow! Amazing, huh? My thought exactly...
So, this, in turn, delayed my remicade infusion by another two weeks because of being placed on antibiotics. Well, I get my infusion, and lo and behold, the dosage fails. Due to my insurance plan, I have to wait another four weeks (no less than) before I can receive my next infusion with a higher dosage ( which I had visited rheumy during this struggle).
By the time I had my appointment with my rheumy, I could barely walk, I had pain extending my arms to reach, my hands were drawn, and my shoulders, as well as, my elbows were tight and stiff, I had very dismal range of motion. I felt like my body was going to explode. But, I did not give in when I so desperately wanted to. That is not me. I'm a fighter...and I will fight for control of my RA.
I am thankful for my wonderful family and friends whom have all been supportive. They were my strength and inspiration and continue to be.
Now, I return this week into the dojo with my martial arts family. All of them, from my instructors to my sparring partners, have been encouraging and inspiring. Pushing me mentally and spiritually, while I struggled physically. And, when I couldn't make it to the dojo, their correspondences uplifted my soul. Thank you, thank you, and thank you...


Friday, March 2, 2012

Peace and Love to Everyone!

Greetings! I just wanted to send out some peace and love to you all. This week I have been battling the flu
of all things. I'm starting to come around now. I will be posting more very soon. Take care.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Living, Loving, and Scared as Hell...

Ok, fellow bloggers, I admit, I haven't posted in a long time. I have no excuses. So much has changed in my life since I first began this blog. I simply crawled deep within a cave and took up residence. For starters, I have been seperated for 3 months and I am learning to adjust to this new life. Thankfully, I have been surrounded by family and my closest friends. My children give me strength each day.
     What has been on my mind most lately, is the thought of having this blasted RA and, potentially, " being back on the market ." Is anyone out there going through this right now? I'm all ears right now and am ready to listen. Since my diagnosis, August, 2010, I have lived by this mantra; ' RA is what I have, not who I am." Lately, however, I have thought this to be utter BS! Maybe this has been my monster trying to take control.
Physically, I do not appear to have anything wrong. I am young (well, young-looking for my age), 41, active, I exercise regularly (when I feel up to the challenge), my kids keep me busy, as well as, being a working, traveling musician. I am a good-looking guy, and, although, I'm not looking right now, I get scared thinking one day soon I may actually be there. The thought of sharing my inner pain with someone else terrifies me. Not to mention the fact it has been years since I've been on the dating circuit., But, to have this chronic illness and be dating; geez. 
     Maybe I am freaking out too much too soon right now. Perhaps, I just need to relax and focus on me and making me better and stronger and enjoying the good things in my life. (It does still scare me)! I welcome any and all responses! Happy New Year to ALL of you! Namaste

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Hopefully Inspiring!!

I also wanted to share with everyone, I believe our mental attitude has a direct effect on our overall health and physical wellbeing. Now, this may strike a wrong chord with some. I can accept this and I respect everyone's belief. I have been reading many books on this subject and at first, I too was skeptical. Having been rediscovering my own beliefs since 2008 when my health began this rollercoaster ride, I thought, "what the hell do I have to lose"? Absolutely nothing. I began this journey by having an open mind. I stopped listening to negative statements from others, including some of my own family. And, I will state to you I have family whom (God love'em) constantly speak with such negativity they seldom hear themselves.
My intent here is not too slander any of my family. My point is simply this; once I began filtering out all of my own negative thoughts and I closed my ears to outside negativity, I could literally feel a change. Not only mentally, but physically. No, I have not mastered this. I still continue to read, educate and put into practice what my mind has ingested.
I hope by sharing this even one person out there becomes inspired. I have applied this "positive thinking" to every aspect of my life. Physical, mental and spiritual. I am currently reading, The Power of the Mind to Heal by Joan and Miroslav Borysenko. I recommend this book. Two other excellent books are, Excuses Begone and Inspiration: Your Ultimate Calling by Dr. Wayne Dyer. Namaste!


Greetings bloggers. I hope everyone has been enjoying the summer so far. Life has been really hectic around the Osburn homestead. Regular trips to the water park, family trips hither and yon and yard work. My grandmother has been in and out of the hospital recently. She has end stage colon cancer which has spread into her liver, lungs and kidneys. Her care is now merely comfort care.
I know this is life coming full circle and my grandmother has told me she is ready, but this is never easy. I seem to be responding well (thus far) with my monthly Remicade infusions and weekly methotrexate. I have now been off of prednisone for nearly 2 months. I still have the occasional RA flare. When my flares come on I am usually down for a day. My family has become fully aware of their onset because I'm usually lying around all day. My wife and son are great about letting me have my space and offer assistance when I need it.
I'm learning everyday how best to live with my RA. I have accepted the fact I am living with a chronic illness. RA will be with me for the duration. I have never been one to give up. No matter the diagnoses, chronic illness is life-changing. I am walking a long, hard road but I know I am not walking this road alone. I wish all of you peace and many blessings. Namaste!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011


Fellow bloggers, greetings and salutations. Yes, it has been a couple of weeks since my last post. I must be honest with everyone; I just haven't felt inspired to write. I have been battling a tough flare lately. At times, this became a daily struggle to get out of bed. If not for my wonderful support network, I might still be there. My rheumy has also began decreasing my prednisone dosage in order to FINALLY stop this med.
Maybe this slow, weekly decrease has also been a factor.
Fast-forward to today. I am feeling better and am ready to take control again. I accept this chronic illness I have. RA, however, DOES NOT have me. What my "monster" inside me needs to know and accept itself, is I will not let it defeat me. Not even during days such as recently past. I have also been reading many inspirational stories which have not only inspired, but have raised my spirit and strengthened my resolve. I will be posting some of them here on this blog.
I hope all of you are doing well. Feel free to post here if you are, or have been, feeling the same. I bid you peace and good health.